


Extra, Extra, Read All about It

by shelbsofawesome



Category: One Piece
Genre: Anal Sex, Body Worship, Canon Compliant, F/M, M/M, Oral Sex, Orgy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:22:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28305243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shelbsofawesome/pseuds/shelbsofawesome
Summary: Is he dead? No, he still feels air pulling into his lungs. Well some air. The cock currently filling his mouth and throat is blocking most of it. Fuck, this is exactly how he always dreamed he would die.
Relationships: Bartolomeo/Cavendish (One Piece), Bartolomeo/Monkey D. Luffy, Bartolomeo/Mugiwara Kaizoku | Strawhat Pirates
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	Extra, Extra, Read All about It

**Author's Note:**

> How fucking weird should I make this? I ask myself as an OP fic writer. Real fucking weird, I answer. Merry Christmas to myself haha

Is he dead? No, he still feels air pulling into his lungs. Well some air. The cock currently filling his mouth and throat is blocking most of it. Fuck, this is exactly how he always dreamed he would die.

It started with Brook asking to see his panties and Barto answering that he doesn’t wear any. Underwear that is, preferring instead to go full commando. He always found underwear to be cumbersome and in the way. The musician laughs that he wouldn’t mind seeing what the ‘cannibal’ was packing. The beautifully, intelligent Miss Robin states that’s something she would like to see as well. 

Bartolomeo looks around and sees the rest of the Straw Hats looking at him expectedly. He suddenly notices that they are all naked around him. He had heard tales of the wild parties aboard the  _ Thousand Sunny _ but always assumed it was due to copious amounts of booze and nothing like this. 

Not one to be dressed while others aren’t, Bartolomeo quickly sheds his pants and jacket until he is as bare as the day he was born. He preens as the crew comments on his little Bart. 

“My, he’s quite endowed.”

“It’s a much better shade than your cactus looking crotch, marimo.” 

“Look at that super piercing!”

“I bet it tastes like meat!” 

Bartolomeo can already feel his cock hardening under the scrutiny. Holy shit. A lone hand springs out of his chest to run a finger slowly under his chin. Barto purrs at the soft touch. More hands sprout urging him to move forward. Fuck, this is actually happening. 

Soft manicured hands are everywhere. Some touches are delicate to his skin, others grip and pull with intent. He straightens up to kiss the large metallic body in front of him. Tonguing over the nipples, a surge of electricity buzzes through him. Barto shivers at the sensation. He feels the shocking after effects especially in the piercings littering his own body. Franky just laughs as he turns the voltage on his nipples a little higher. 

“You sure he can take that, dear?” Sweet Miss Robin asks from her perch atop the cyborg’s massive shoulders. Her question comes even as she fists Bartolomeo’s weeping cock in a tight grip. Her nails rake over the metal present, catching and pulling each one. 

“Fuck, I can take it all.” Barto moans out as he begs for more. He’s so close to coming already. More hands appear to spread his legs wider. 

Bartolomeo cracks his eyes open to see Chopper hand a tub of lube to Franky before retreating back behind the mast.

“Thank you, Doctor. Our patient will definitely need this for the next part.” Bartolomeo drools at the thought. Disembodied hands grab the tub from Franky and begin expertly applying it. He groans as she slathers his insides with the ointment. She quickly squeezes the base of his cock to stop him from coming. 

“He looks super just begging for it, you ready, Jinbei?” Franky laughs.

“Certainly. Here to do my part as a Straw Hat.” Barto’s body is suddenly pushed forward as he’s filled immediately to the brim. He lets out a high pitched wail at the burning stretch of his hole. 

“If you can’t handle his two cocks, you’re definitely not going to be able to handle ours.” The swordsman calls over from underneath the rubber limbed captain currently assaulting his mouth with his own. 

He feels his entire body clench up at the thought of having the captain and his first mate inside him. Bartolomeo almost passes out. Holy fuck. His own hands shake as they try to gain purchase on the massive body in front of him with every thrust.

“He’s so tight for a human. Ever been fucked before, kid?”

“Not like this, god not ever like this.” Barto whines out pitifully as he rocks back against the Fishman. Robin’s hands resume their teasing strokes as he latches his mouth back onto Franky’s nipples. 

“He’s like a living vibrator.” Jinbei hums as he can feel the vibrations from the electricity inside Bartolomeo’s walls. The man is shivering and his whole body convulses in a moment before he’s coming across the deck of the  _ Thousand Sunny _ . 

“The rooster makes for a perfect cocksleeve.” Robin lilts and Barto sobs at the praise and over stimulation. He’s almost to the point of it becoming painful when he feels Jinbei’s liquid painting his insides at the same time Franky comes in thick spurts against his stomach. He didn’t even realize Robin had been jacking Franky off at the same time.

“But Miss Robin, please let me take care of you.” Bartolomeo begs as he kneels in the drying cum pooled underneath him. 

“Oh no, dear Rooster. Continue to have your fun, I have these boys to make sure I’m not lonely.” Robin places hands on the cheeks of Franky and Jinbei. His disappointment only lasts a second before a strong foot hooks around his waist. Barto falls on his back, legs spread obscenely wide as the smoking blond towers over him with a cup in hand.

Sanji pours the hot liquid all over Bartolomeo’s chest and crotch. Fuck, it stings his skin in the best kind of way. Barto runs a finger through the syrup to taste it. It’s some kind of sweet concoction and shit, it’s glorious. The taste is almost as good as the feeling of Sanji’s tongue licking up his stomach. The man kneels onto his inner thighs, spreading him even more. Bartolomeo moans as the kisses up his chest stop. 

He looks up with pleading eyes, not wanting to ask the gorgeous blond but needing it all the same. Fuck, he needs the hands lighting that cigarette to be on his body. Sanji takes a deep inhale of nicotine before tapping the stick, letting the ash fall on Bartolomeo’s exposed skin. He writhes underneath the man, needing more, so much more. Sanji answers with a sharp pull of the barbell pierced through his right nipple. Barto keens, unable to thrust his hips much with Sanji pinning him down. Every slight movement gives only the smallest relief as his dripping cock brushes against Sanji’s own. 

“Hmm bit of a pain slut, are you?” Sanji grins, inhaling again. Bartolomeo’s breath comes out ragged as he watches the man slowly bring the cigarette closer to his chest. Fuck.

“Pul..puleaze, Mister Sanji.” Barto whimpers out, unable to take his eyes off of the burning end so close to his skin. Sanji rocks his hips down in the same motion as one hand pulls Barto’s hair to the side and the other presses the cigarette into the skin just above his nipple. Bartolomeo wails as he comes violently again. His whole body shudders and jerks through the pain and pleasure. The burned tip is replaced by a hot mouth sucking and licking the mark he just made. Sanji bites down on his nipple, pulling on the piercing between his teeth. 

Fucking hell, Bartolomeo is full on sobbing now, so overstimulated but never wanting it to end. He feels like his orgasm goes on for ages as that hot mouth continues to bite and pull his delicate skin. Sanji’s lips only lightly brush his own, not like the hands forcibly gripping his hair. 

“Turn over and worship your God.” Sanji whispers into his ear. Bartolomeo immediately complies with the order, though he’s unsure how his body can even follow the command. His shaky knees slip on the deck from the leftover syrup and he’s barely able to hold himself up. All of his aches and pains disappear as soon as he looks up to see God Usopp with a shining light behind him. He is not worthy to be in such a presence. 

Sanji’s hot mouth breathes over his rim. Fuck, Barto almost completely buckles from the sensation. The blond’s tongue goes in and out and Bartolomeo can barely stop his hips from rocking back on it. He must be in heaven, usually he’s only got two, maybe a sad third orgasm in him but is feeling like he can go for hours still. 

“Gonna fuck yourself on his tongue? Am I, the great God Usopp, not enough for you?” Usopp kicks his foot out to push Barto even further back onto Sanji’s mouth. He whines loudly at the thought of having to choose which Straw Hat to focus on. 

“Move over Sanji.” Barto groans at the loss of the blonde’s expert mouth on his hole but he perks up when he feels nails digging into his spine. Tearing his eyes away from his holiness, he sees the ends of long orange hair lightly caressing his back. 

“Muh muh Miss Nami. Please do not debase yourself.” A phallic shaped object is suddenly pushed inside him. Giving no warning, Barto chokes from the fill.

“I’m going to make you come so hard, you’ll build a new ship dedicated to only me.” Nami grins as she twists the dildo further in. She deftly works the object pulling it out just enough to stretch his entrance then shoves it back in deep. Barto keens at the sensation. Sharp nails catch on his swollen rim with each thrust. 

Sanji joins him to pleasure the sniper of the Straw Hats. They take turns licking and sucking up his shaft, sharing the salty release between their mouths. Bartolomeo hears the deity gasp as the metal ball in his tongue catches on the head of his glorious cock. He repeats the action again and again just to hear those sweet noises like music to his ears. If this is the only way for Barto to sing his praises of God Usopp then he will gladly sacrifice his mouth in worship. 

“Fuck Sanji, you need to get your tongue pierced, too.” Usopp pants out, his hands petting both men’s temples. Barto leans into the touch as he dips down to give attention to the man’s ball sack. Nami continues to thrust the toy deeper and deeper still. It only takes her fingers rubbing against the slit of his cock for Bartolomeo to come once more, just as mind blowing as the previous times. 

“Tired, already?” Barto raises his head up from where he rested on the inside of Usopp’s thigh at the sound of Zoro. 

“You can’t be sleepy yet, Rooster, come play with us.” The captain of the Straw Hats laughs. Like his orgasm never happened, his cock springs back to life at the sight of the future Pirate King and his first mate beckoning for him to join them. Bartolomeo lets out a whine not wanting to leave his current position but also feeling an intense urge to crawl on his hands and knees to the men. 

“Ugh just go to them, I can’t listen to Luffy’s whining anymore.” Nami waves him off as she slides next to Robin lounging underneath the tangerine grove.

“Try to last more than three pumps, shitty moss head.” Sanji jeers, unmoving from his new position on Usopp’s lap. 

“No one asked for your input, Darts.” Zoro rolls his eye. Bartolomeo is in heaven as the two men lay claim to his mouth and neck. A flurry of tongues and teeth possessively attack every inch of skin they can reach. 

Zoro’s hand on his chest pushes him back until Barto lands on a wooden crate. Immediately, his legs wrap around his midsection as Zoro sheathes his cock fully inside. Bartolomeo’s entire body jolts, the back of his head hitting the side of the crate with a crack. Zoro laughs at the sounds Barto pants out as he picks up a brutal pace. Suddenly hands are in his hair and rubbing small circles on his temples. Bartolomeo opens his eyes and starts sobbing at the sight of his hero. 

Luffy has that million watt smile as he brushes the tears away. It doesn’t help as snot and tear freely fall from Barto’s face in waves. Before Luffy even stands back up, Bartolomeo’s mouth is open in anticipation. The angle is perfect and everything is glorious as he swallows around the head of his cock. He’s sure to have splinters in his back from sliding back and forth on the crate but Barto doesn’t comprehend anything but how great he feels being used like this. He’s not even sure he’s breathing anymore from the spit, snot, and tears coating his face, the balls hitting his nose with every thrust. 

“How does it feel to be sucking the Pirate King’s dick?” Luffy laughs as he grips the sides of Bartolomeo’s face. Not that the man would choose to be anywhere else in the world at this moment.

“Hhhnnggh.” Bartolomeo can’t form words around the cock thrusting into his throat. And he doesn’t want to stop for even the second it would take to respond. Every forceful jab of the cock currently buried deep inside his ass pushes him forward, only to be thrust back by Luffy’s movements. He’s on a magical zipline in cock heaven. 

“Shit, he’s still so tight even after taking both of Jinbei’s dicks and Nami’s toy. Dude’s ass is perfect for this torment. Maybe we should keep him around as our personal fuck hole.” Zoro grunts out.

Barto sees fucking stars at that suggestion. He would want nothing more in this life than to just be used by the Straw Hat crew’s every filthy desire. His own crew would totally understand. Barto would be giving his body for a higher purpose, to serve the Pirate King and his crew and he would adore every dirty second. 

“Ah, getting close. You guys were right, his mouth is amazing. Zoro?” Luffy asks over Barto’s body, not even acknowledging the sobbing man spit roasted between them.

“Aye, aye, Captain.” The two men somehow pick up their pace even more, pounding into the holes presented to them. Both men pull back in tandem so they can come in thick spurts across his entire body. Barto has transcended into a higher plane. His body coated in the cum of the Straw Hats. Some of the releases have already dried, caking to his skin, while more is dripping off him onto the deck of the  _ Thousand Sunny _ . 

Bartolomeo comes one last time as a calloused hand reaches down to stroke him off. Every inch of his skin is singing as the Straw Hat captain squats to be eye level with him. His head still hanging upside down off the crate, Barto can barely see from the cum and tears flowing off his face. 

“You did so good, our own cock choking chicken.” Luffy leans over for a kiss, licking at his fangs. Bartolomeo promptly dies. 

“ _ Fucking imbecile _ ! I was just reading the news about what the Straw Hats are doing in Wano. Why did you come in your pants? Disgusting. Abhorrent.” Cavendish screeches. He looked up from the morning paper when he heard the obvious throaty moan just to see Bartolomeo give a full body shudder before his head landed in his plate of eggs. 

“Why the fuck am I even with you? No, don’t come near me, go fucking shower.” Cavendish groans as Bartolomeo gets up to wrap his arms around him. 

“You could join me, beautiful.” Shit, that was the best orgasm he’d ever had and Barto’s not even sure he was conscious for it. He can see the blush creeping down Cabbage’s chest as his hands wander. 

“Fine, but I will not be dressing up as that bastard Black Leg again.” Barto groans remembering when Cav wore the suit and tie, even pretended to smoke for the scene. Fuck, that was so hot. He’s already hardening back up at the thought.

“Eww. Stop rubbing against me in your dirty pants. You’re incorrigible. That’s it, you’re sleeping on deck tonight.” Bartolomeo laughs at the benign threat knowing the man is still following behind him as he walks to the ship’s bathing area.

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for any ‘out of character’ moments. I tried to keep the Straw Hats like themselves but also fitting into Barto’s fantasy version of them. 
> 
> Poor Cav just loves his dumbass boyfriend and is willing to subject himself to all kinds of depravity as long as Barto calls him beautiful during it :)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading this crack of a fic! <3


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